Katy Perry and Troubled Feet

Joanna bravely shares that she needs to be muzzled during pedicures. Justin explains how he ended up dancing on stage with Katy Perry and describes how he'd like to be buried. 

Follow the show on Instagram @mywholepersonalitypod
Produced and edited by Joanna Clark
Theme music by Rebecca Jaffe
Podcast art by Michelle Hong (michelleyhong.com)

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

I was in high school and my English teacher was like, What are you listening to? And I was listening to Lady Gaga, and I felt like that was gayer than Katy Perry. So I lied and I said, I'm listening to Katy Perry. I panicked because like a guy listening to a girl kiss a girl felt straighter for some reason. And I couldn't think of like a quicker lie to sound straighter to my like 40-year-old English teacher.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:33

Yeah, I also love kissing girls.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I like this one thing. So I made it my whole thing. Now no one wants to talk to me at parties. Please listen to my spiel, because I made it my whole deal. I made it my whole personality.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Yeah. Hey everyone, welcome back to my whole personality. This has been a horrible week for me. Um I normally like to put these podcasts out like midweek for no reason at all. I don't know. I just like set a deadline for myself, and now it's something that I feel compelled to stick to. But um one of my cats, James, has been super sick and um ended up having to I had to take him to be hospitalized overnight in the ER, and it's just been terrible. He had like a cough, he stopped eating, he stopped drinking, he also got like really quiet, which is weird for him. His favorite thing in the world is just to like walk around the house and open closet doors and scream into them. I think some vets say like if a cat is yelling, that's a sign of disease, but he's been doing that since he was a kid and that's like his absolute favorite thing to do is just to walk around and scream. His like he hasn't done it in a while, but his favorite way to wake up my roommate, we call it Billy Goating. He will just walk into her room and stand on top of her nightstand and scream. Um he honestly also sounds like a baby a little bit, so I I'm kind of concerned her neighbors think that there's a baby just like stuck in the drywall. But yeah, it's been really, really sad. He, I don't know what it is. They're pretty sure it's some kind of lung infection. So um I brought him home from the hospital yesterday, and he seems to be doing better. He's eating, he's drinking, he all he wants to do is lay in bed and watch Down Abbey and read about King Richard. So that's what we've been doing for the last 24 hours. I've gotten no work done, uh, which sucks because his vet bills are very expensive. I am thousands of dollars in the hole here, so I haven't had ads on this podcast. You might start hearing them because I gotta monetize, I gotta do something to to recoup this money, maybe get another job. I don't know. I texted, I set up a group text just to like tell my family about it. And I was like, I'm so upset. Uh, he has to stay overnight in the emergency room, he has to be on all these medicines, he has to have monitoring, he has to be on oxygen. And my mom responded in the most my mom fashion. She just said, I've been doing some research. An overnight stay shouldn't cost more than like$1,500 to$2,000. Do they know that you're poor? My mom. Not known for pulling punches, okay. Um, we just let it go. I said, I don't know. And I just paid$3,000 and I said goodbye to him and I left. It was it was awful. So that's what's going on with me. But I will say MedVet has been incredible. I've never had to hospitalize uh a pet before, but they they were great. They have a night nurse, which is really nice. So I could call, I call it at like 10 p.m. to check in on him before I went to bed. And the night nurse was so nice. She talked to me for like 20 minutes about him, which was just so sweet, telling me he might need to be on an asthma inhaler. Um, and that he really enjoyed being high on gapapentin. So he really is just like his mom. And that's genetics. Another thing about MedVet, they have a social worker there, like they had like a counselor walking around to make sure everybody was okay, which is just I don't know, such a nice touch. He was really nice. He had a ton of chapstick on his lips, and that was a little distracting for me, but it was actually maybe a nice distraction to um distract me from my own tears. But um, just kind, kind people. Everybody that I interacted with there um was just so nice. So shout out to Medvet. Um I don't have a 401k anymore. But if there's one thing that's gonna cheer me up, it is this person that is coming up on this episode. I recorded this episode a couple weeks ago with my friend Justin. He is just like the brightest, bubblyest person I've ever met. I think I even say that in the intro. He is like honestly like a cartoon character, but in the best way. We're both Libras, couldn't we're very similar, but also very different. For example, he uh walks barefoot and I don't. So there you go. Um, but please enjoy this episode with Justin and I will see you all next week. Uh joining me today on the podcast is one of the brightest, bubblyest, um vibrant people I know. Ah just to see the world through your eyes would be a would be a treat.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Yeah, wow, that's so kind. Uh but oh god, this is Justin. Hi, yeah, welcome to me. And we were gonna have him on a couple weeks ago, but he I'll cut to this um in the recording, but you had a very bad cold.

SPEAKER_04 5:53

Something, something. Um, my little immune system, baby, she held me up, but my voice said mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

I've never heard anybody's voice change so much. It was jarring. It was like Bane.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

So this is my current voice, and honestly, I think it's kinda sexy and could really land for like podcasting or maybe like a jazz quartet. And honestly, it's not too far off from my straight voice at work. So it's just it's business as usual, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

But so just you know, I'm gonna talk about something that I've made my whole personality, and then we'll talk about yours. And unfortunately, mine isn't fun. Yours is very beautiful and fun. Mine is unfortunately, I think a big part of my personality is um foot problems. Having foot problems. Yeah. I don't know if you know this about me, but I um I cut my toe off one time.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

Which one? And like all the way? It was hinging. Like severed? Hinging.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Yeah. My my index f my in my index toe.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

Which would be like your second toe? My second toe. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

I was, it was when I was in middle school. My mom was out of town, my dad was at Home Depot.

SPEAKER_05 7:05

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Classic. And Jessica and I were home alone, and I walked, this is why I don't walk barefoot anymore. I went outside.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

I walked barefoot to let the cat out. Stepped on a a broken mason jar.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

And you still drink from them to this day.

unknown 7:20

Yes!

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Oh my god, I didn't even think about that. Just exposure to the thing. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_04 7:25

I mean, like I would be traumatized from two ends of this.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

You're right.

SPEAKER_04 7:28

Conquering your fears.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Yeah, except for I will never walk barefoot. But yeah, I like came back in the house.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

I got gross little like in the summer, uh, I'm out there, black little tootsies.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Oh my god, I can't even think about it. It makes me so sick. I even like I don't like my feet being wet. Like if I I'm okay with if I'm showering in my own shower, my feet are wet, obviously. But then when I turn the water off, I'm okay. Okay. Sure. If I'm in somebody else's shower, if I'm showering, the second I turn the water off and I'm sitting in somebody else's shower basin with wet feet.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

Why are you sitting in the shower?

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Well, just like stand, you know, like the second you turn the shower off and then you're standing there and you reach for your towel?

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

It makes me sick to think about my feet being wet in somebody else's shower.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

That's where they should be wet. I know, but Do you wash your feet every time in the shower?

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

Same.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

That sounds like I wash my feet every time before I get in bed.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

I should. I should. Think about it. You do shower at night?

SPEAKER_02 8:31

I shower, I do shower at night. I shower if I have like done a workout and touched this is people are gonna think I'm insane. If I if I am on my workout mat, sure. If any part of my flesh touches my workout mat, I'll wash that part of my flesh before I get in bed. Because ringworm.

SPEAKER_04 8:44

Ringworm, fair.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Have you ever had ringworm?

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

I had it on my face.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

For somebody who's like so afraid of germs, you get a lot of them.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

It is the things that slip through my defenses are a real slap in the face.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

And see, honestly, it's probably because you're not out there. You're not collecting on your own. You're not built in building that immune system. Me, my voice gone.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 9:07

But my body, I was fine.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 9:09

Right is right.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

You stand up, you have just boils on your back.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

Littered with lesions. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Lesions. No, I am like so scared about getting into a body of water with an open wound. I think about it a lot. Any body of water. Could be a bathtub.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

I would be I would only be afraid for like shark purposes.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Blood. Yeah. You would get in a lake. Yeah. Period. Ugh.

SPEAKER_04 9:33

Oh, don't love deep water.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

Don't like, yes, I'll jump off a boat, but I'll be scurry my butt right back in.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Not to like plug my own podcast, but me and me and Meredith did an episode on the ocean and how we're still.

SPEAKER_04 9:43

Oh yes. I was listening to it. Okay. She gets killer whales and I get feet.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

And I hate to say that I picked my topics for my guests, but I did pick this for you.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

You said, you know who wants to talk about feet?

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Justin.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

Justin.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Yeah, so that was my first trauma. I also have um Hallux rigidus.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Is it like you got a really big big toe?

SPEAKER_02 10:06

It's my big toe doesn't bend. It's stiff. The joint. To my big toe, and now there's no more cartilage in between the bone joints, so that it literally doesn't bend. Like if when I do How do you walk? Not well. What dog footed.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

So it's so you're like overcorrect.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

So now, yeah, because the feet affect everything. So now like my hips, my back, everything is fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Oh, poor.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

But it like straight up doesn't bend. So if I do downward dog, I won't do it for you.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

No, please, no. Let's take a quick break.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

It's literally like one foot goes like this and the other goes like it's I just I'm like a steel-toed boot.

SPEAKER_04 10:44

You're like a horse. You don't have a hoof.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

I have nine toes and one hoof.

SPEAKER_04 10:51

Only one of your toes? Only one.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

And the guy, he was like a really old, um, kind of like a I don't know. I don't think he liked women. Oh. Um because he yeah. But he said he was like, well, we can do a surgery, but ladies don't like that because then they can't wear high heels or do yoga because it fuses the bones together.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

Can you wear high heels or do yoga? Have you ever seen me in a heel?

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Yeah. No. I can't wear heels.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Because of your toe.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Yeah.

unknown 11:15

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

And now I thought, like, if I, because I would love to go on dancing with the stars.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

I would have to get a doctor's note that would say, like, she has to dance in clogs.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

You could just do clog dancing on Dancing with the Stars.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

I could.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

That could be like your one trick pony. You might make it two weeks, but then Bruno Tomnoli, well, is he still on there?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Yeah. Ah, look at me. He's still on there. Good for you. Yeah. Heather loves dancing with the stars. She was like, I don't have anything that could be my whole personality. And I'm like, you text me routinely to be like, how do we get the ABC app? And he loves Dancing with the Stars. So.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

I liked uh Robert Irwin.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

I did two.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

Did you see his Bond dad?

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Yeah, you showed me.

SPEAKER_04 11:52

It feels wrong to look at.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Hmm, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_04 11:55

Because like he he does seem like a child. But he's not. He's not. He's full grown. He's full grown. But it's like every time you talk about him, you talk about his father.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Right.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

Which makes him seem younger.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Okay. Yeah, I blew right past that. But yeah, yeah. I was actually fine. And then the only person I've ever let touch my toes, okay? When we were at Dana's bachelorette party, we hired a masseuse to come massage us. And he had never seen a he was, we didn't know this when we booked him, but he was um more of a physical therapist for elderly. So he comes in not comfortable with the female body. Like he was like really overwhelmed, and then I was the last person, and I came in, and he was like, I've about had it today. And I was like, Great, this is gonna be the best massage ever. But I told him about what was going on with my feet, and he he pulled on my big toe a little bit, and it was actually really the one the one big fused toe? The big fusion. It felt great.

SPEAKER_04 12:54

Stunning. Do you do that?

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Sometimes I will pull on my big toe.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

Yeah. I just imagine that you have something like a gadget in your room where you stick your toe in and just pull back.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Like a rack, like a tenture rack.

SPEAKER_04 13:06

Yeah, but just for like that one toe. Just slide it in, strap it in.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Heather, turn it up to ten! More! Pull more. My god. Um, yeah, so you're welcome to give it a tug. Mm-mm. Never mind.

SPEAKER_04 13:21

Don't tell me with a good time.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

No, it makes me sick. I because I used to walk dogs, you know? Um, and they were all these dogs who like if you touch their feet, like they'll bite you. And I'm like, I'm a cat or a dog. Yeah, if you touch my feet, I'll bite you.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

Doug doesn't let me touch his feet.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Exactly. Does he let a groomer do it?

SPEAKER_04 13:35

No. Oh my god. Doug had to get like written up by a groomer. I don't know like how you would like he had to like write an incident report because Doug bit him. Oh my god. I drug my little boy. You drug him? Hell yeah. Trazodone. The vet gave him like a super strength one. That is like they were like, he will be like sedated to go to the vet. He can't go without it. I have to muzzle him.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I know. I think that's so shocking. Because he's the nicest boy I've ever met.

SPEAKER_04 14:01

Until you put him in anything uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Same.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Do you touch his toes? Baby, watch out.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Mm-hmm. I would never. I think if I were to get a pedicure, they'd have to muzzle me.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

That's fair. Because you would bite.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

I would bite.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

But you would bite, yeah. My aunt one time was like, she does something with feet. She does like not like acupuncture, but like pressure.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Reflexology.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

Yes, literally reflex reflexology. And it was one Christmas. She was like getting licensed for it. And I was like, can I do it to you? And I was like, I like put it off as long as possible. I was like, I'll just go after everybody else. And then I had to like come clean. I was like, I just really don't I don't like when people touch my feet. And it's weirder that like your family.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah. Maybe you put a bag over your head and then do it. Wait, so did she do it?

SPEAKER_04 14:52

No.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 14:53

Which I'm sorry.

unknown 14:55

I bit her.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Yeah. If I ever did date somebody with a foot fetish, I think I would honestly be okay with giving them a cool 20 bucks and saying, go have fun.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

With my someone else. Oh, with someone else. Got it.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Take care of what you need to take care of. Understood. And like, that's fine. I don't want to hear about it.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

So you'd be open to an open relationship for feet.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yes. Yeah. I knew this girl who knew this girl. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Um, and she used to work at Hooters. And this man, he came in all the time. He's like a nice older guy.

SPEAKER_04 15:29

Real quick, what would the hooters for feet be?

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Booters.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

Booters. Booters.

unknown 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

It's booters.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

It's booters. Hoofers.

SPEAKER_04 15:38

Hoofers. You'd fit right in.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

You think I would fit in there? Yeah, you would have in there. Oh, with my hoof. Yeah. He was like, I don't want to make a big deal about this, but like, would you be comfortable if like we went in the bathroom and I slid a hundred dollar bill in between each of your toes.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

And wouldn't take pictures or anything. I just want to do that and then you can keep the money. In a heartbeat, I would do that.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

Oh, yeah. This happened to a friend of a friend.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Yeah. You I would take some Trazodone or whatever Doug takes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:07

Go into the bathroom. Just numb it up.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Like, what a great way to make$900. Well, are you ready to get into Katie Perry? Sure. Okay. So, well, first of all, I was pretty sure this was gonna be your whole personality. But you have so many different things it could be.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

I one ADHD took full control when you asked me.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

I know. Because we have so many hating soup was another contender.

SPEAKER_04 16:33

Hot sauces was up there. And I tried to dance around this for so long because she's kind of like the pariah of like the pop girlies.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

Which is not fair in my opinion. And I'm I'm willing to send stand ten toes down on my girl. You gonna sneeze?

SPEAKER_02 16:48

How dare you talk about standing ten toes down when I know I can only stand on the dumb.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

Nine in one.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Um okay, so your whole personality is Katy Perry.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

It is. Has been.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

When did it start?

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Oh. It really started with California girls. It was right around the time of New York with Alicia Keys and Jay-Z. Okay. And I was driving home from I worked at Old Navy. You did? I worked at Old Navy. I they just like put me in front of the store and in front of the store or inside the store? In the store. Like it was in the mall.

unknown 17:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

And I was like a greeter. Oh, you were? But like I was on my way home from Old Navy, and they were like, oh, there's a retort from California with Katy Perry and California girls. And I was like, nah, sure. And it was New York? It was no, it was California Girls. Oh, okay. Like the retort to like New York. Oh, I didn't know that that was it wasn't, but like that's how the DJ introduced it.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:43

And I was like, sure, I'll have a little friendly competition. And I locked in. I was like swerving. I was like, I was like speeding down the road, and I got home.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

No one was safe.

SPEAKER_04 17:54

And nobody was safe. And I Coles Cash out the window. Yeah, like windows down. Like I was like, yeah. Um, and then I got home and it was still playing. And I sat in my car and I was just like, and my mom was like looking out the window, and she was like, Hello. But before that, my first like memory of Katy Perry's obviously I kissed a girl.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

I kissed a girl, I think is my first memory of hers. Okay. You were like, I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

Well, right. This was this was in a time when I couldn't like pop music because I was straight.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 18:34

You know what I mean? Like, I couldn't like pop girls. But there one of my English teachers at the time, I think I was like a senior in high school. No, I was in high school. And my English teacher was like, What are you listening to? And I was listening to Lady Gaga, and I felt like that was gayer than Katy Perry. So I lied and I said, I'm listening to Katy Perry. I panicked because like a guy listening to a girl kiss a girl felt straighter for some reason. And I couldn't think of like a quicker lie to sound straighter to my like 40-year-old English teacher.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

Yeah, I also love kissing girls.

unknown 19:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

What does she bring out in you that you love so much?

SPEAKER_04 19:23

Well, when it first like locked me in, it was like bubblegum pop. And I was living for it. Like I I just like ride on like highs, and she makes those kind of like big songs that are like a little empowering, little like just fun, kitschy. She's very like over the top, yeah, in like a very like cartoonish kind of way.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

She you are describing yourself.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

Yes, it like fully emulated with me. It probably shaped me a lot to like where I currently. I think like everything's like a little bit of a bit, right? Like everything is like all dress for an occasion.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

You don't take anything too seriously.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Nothing. Nothing serious. Right. Yeah, I'll ride with that. Nothing serious.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Yeah, you all opted out of that terrorism insurance on your condo, didn't you? Yeah.

unknown 20:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Nothing matters.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Nothing sad. No, because like if terrorism happens, oh I'm not living through it. I'm not fighting for it. Like if my house is demolished from a missile, I don't think I don't think I need to insure that.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:30

So for those reasons. For those reasons, Katy Berry. Right. Um, but yeah, she she's just brought me like so much joy over the years. And also, she was really hot. She still is so hot.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

She is.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

Even as like a gay man, face car does not decline, mama.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

But she is hot. I'll give it to her.

SPEAKER_04 20:52

My college bedroom was every come everywhere. Come everywhere.

SPEAKER_05 21:01

I don't respect her too much to do that.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

Um was every because she was like the girl of the moment, right? It was just every magazine that was just like my it was, it was almost like a murderer's like stalker den in retrospect, but it was every cutout of Katy Perry, every like like center fold. When did you come out? Very quickly into college. Kind of with those with like the discovery of like my love for Katy Perry was also the I can't hide it anymore. It's like I can't be screaming firework in the courtyard and be straight. Katy Perry made me gay.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Okay, you already hear first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

I'll say it. I'll lock that in.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Is there anything else that you like about her specifically that you identify with? Like,

SPEAKER_04 22:00

One, she's funny.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Is she?

SPEAKER_04 22:02

She is funny. Like like if you ever go to her shows, like she does like little interludes of the show. I know it's a great show. Like she does like little comedic bits in between. And it's like it like it's fun. And she also already said it, so hot. An amazing dating profile. Like her history, her lineup of of people she's dated.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

You big Russell Brandhead.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

Yeah. Well, just like even the lore. Like, she's now dating Trudeau, which is insane. It's so crazy. Because he is still the background on my computer.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_04 22:36

I had such a crush on him.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

I like before that she Before this.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

Whoa. Like back in like, I have a shirt that says true daddy. And then he got a little Then he has to and then he got like a little like controversial. And I was like, maybe this stays. Yeah, same. So same trajectory. Like this their relationship is like 2014's wet dream for me.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Whoa.

SPEAKER_04 22:59

Yeah. It's that's beautiful. Honestly, I'm riding high right now. But then even before that, well, I hate John Mayer. I know, which like she did. We all hate John Mayer.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 23:10

Yeah, and I now hate him. Heather loves him. Which is like our little bond.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

That is our bond. Yeah. He's a vampire, he sucks people's souls out. Yeah. Terrible person.

SPEAKER_04 23:16

Hate him. But Orlando Bloom. Love him. Loved him. Now I hate him. Really? Why? Well, because they broke up. Yeah, because they broke up, and so I had to pick a side.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Okay. That's I could never go against Lord of the Rings.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

I know. Because I also like you see, you have like the like everybody has something with Katy Perry's dating history.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

You're right. Right?

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Like, who doesn't love Legolas?

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Right.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Right? That was a hot relationship until it wasn't. Remember when he was nude?

SPEAKER_02 23:41

On that surf bar? I think about it all.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

Like Katy Perry is forever. She went to like the inauguration. She went to the coronation. Like, she is like in every She went to the Coronation? Yeah, she sang for the King. Okay. Yeah. She sang for the King. What a weird pick. Yeah. She sings firework and roar everywhere she goes.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

What is your favorite Katy Perry outfit or costume?

SPEAKER_04 24:04

Um, can I say all of the Super Bowl?

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Was no, yes. I'm not super. Is that where the shark was?

SPEAKER_04 24:12

Yes. So she went from like fire outfit, like flames, flames, into beach balls, into like big hoodie. And then she ends on a star. You know how it's like end of year and everybody's doing their rapt?

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:29

I opened YouTube recently, and my number three channel that I watched was the NFL. Now I'm not watching football, but I am regularly watching the Katy Perry Super Bowl 49 Pepsi halftime show.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Oh my god, I can't believe that's the first time.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

And that's literally how they open it.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

That is so funny.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Like that's like my go, like that's like my comfort video.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

What's your favorite concert that you've been to of hers?

SPEAKER_04 25:01

It has to be uh-oh, I brought props. It has to be. Well, it could be too. I'm gonna go with the California Dreams tour. That was the first time I met her. You met her? I met her. Can I can I grab it? Okay, so I won a contest. Um I won a contest. Remember the video game Just Dance? They had a contest to do your firework dance and meet Katie Perry. If you won. And I won. And I took like my best friend Katie Babb, and she made me this blanket from Katie Perry did? Katie Babb.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

Um.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

When was this?

SPEAKER_04 25:41

This was 2010-ish. This is from when I met Katie Perry and Katie Perry.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Justin! Look at you!

SPEAKER_04 25:58

I refuse to get rid of this. I will net like this will live with me, and like this is what I will be buried in.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

100%. You need to wear that as a cape. Yes. I really would love to see you buried in that open casket.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

And I went back there and I proposed to her with a because it was like a candy fornia. And so I proposed to her with a ring pop. And I was like, will you be my teenage dream tonight?

SPEAKER_02 26:21

What did she say?

SPEAKER_04 26:23

She said, Oh my god, yes. Would you like to come on stage tonight?

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Oh wait, wait! I did know this.

SPEAKER_04 26:30

You're in the you're in the I'm in her movie. Oh my god, just of me being like, oh my god, yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Okay, I need to find a way to watch that movie and record it and put it on here.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

Um it's about 47 minutes in. Um I've watched it thousands of times. So I got to dance on stage with her that night. She did a cover of Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Oh my god. And was she nice?

SPEAKER_04 26:53

So nice.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Yeah, like a a gem. They say don't meet your heroes. I say I beg to differ. I have met her another time though. Um You did? Yeah, I've met her twice. Just it. I am not a stalker, but I am obsessed. Like my whole personality.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Yeah, which is perfect.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

At any opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

When did you meet her again?

SPEAKER_04 27:14

We won another contest. Me and Angie won a contest. That's the only way I get like.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

I love that you enter contests and win them because I always like, I'm afraid to enter a contest because I'm like, I'll never win.

SPEAKER_04 27:24

What's the worst that can happen? You're right. You give your data away. I've already given everybody on this all of my contact information.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Oh my gosh. So many emails coming through to you.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

Yeah, oh my god, baby. I I just checked this today. I don't clear out my um my Gmail. I'm working on it. Do you want to guess how many unread Gmail emails I have?

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Is it 10,000?

SPEAKER_04 27:50

More.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

Just.

SPEAKER_04 27:52

It's actually a really nice number right now.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

14,000?

SPEAKER_04 27:56

Higher.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Justin! How much?

SPEAKER_04 28:01

It is 16,666.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

Oh, whoa.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

I know. The devil is in me.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

The devil's the that I I just started going through and like um unsubscribing for a bunch of stuff and deleting them because I'm like, I want to take my I want to take control of my inbox back.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

I thought I would do that at one point and I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

It's not good for people like us. Like mentally, it's hard for us to sit down and do that.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

I can't, I can't. Well, like, what if I what if I want something? What if there's a a good deal that comes through from Macy's?

SPEAKER_02 28:27

I know. I started because I'm like not making no money's coming in. You know?

SPEAKER_04 28:31

This isn't monetized.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

No, boy, is it not. And so I'm like, I have to stop having these temptations. Cause especially if I if I take an edible, I'll buy anything. Anything and everything. I bought a Heimlich maneuver for myself, a self-Himlick maneuver machine. Of course you did. I have fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

Because you eat too fast.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

I do, I eat too fast.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

Detour. My mom is like your biggest fan. And she she was like, did you listen to Joe's podcast? She was saying this episode. She was saying how um that you eat too fast and you bite your fingers.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

I do bite my fingers. It's awful.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

That was like she was giggling about that.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

But I, yes, it's the worst feeling. And the worst it makes me, it's the worst feeling in the world, but I can't stop.

SPEAKER_04 29:13

And that's why you need a highlight.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Self-highlight. Or just to eat with mittens.

SPEAKER_04 29:17

Or like just slow down.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I can't. It's like the thought doesn't even enter my mind.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

It's it's it's really strange.

unknown 29:30

Look at this.

SPEAKER_04 29:31

This is Katy Perry recording me and Angie.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Stop.

unknown 29:38

Her friend.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

We can't talk about Katy Perry without talking about going to space.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

Would you ever go to space?

SPEAKER_04 29:50

I like land. I'm good with land. I'm iffy on C.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Same.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

Yeah, I if we were maybe 200 years in the future and we had like a Xenon girl of the 21st century kind of space station already up there, I don't I don't need to be part of the test.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Right.

SPEAKER_04 30:07

I don't need to be that first flight.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

I I don't have any interest in going to space. I'm fine here. I don't even I'm so comfy. Right. I don't even want to go like I was like, what was the I wouldn't even I wouldn't go on Survivor. Like what's the most extreme like I would- I would do Survivor.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

I would do I would die really cranky in a heartbeat. But they feed you a lot on Survivor now.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

They do? Yeah. But you can't take medicine, can you?

SPEAKER_04 30:31

Didn't you start watching?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

I started and then I kind of fell off.

SPEAKER_04 30:33

But you were watching traders and you need to give like I built out a whole I built out a whole thing for you.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

I know. So but no, but it is I have been like I was slowly following it. And then I think something else just captured my attention.

SPEAKER_04 30:45

Sure, of course.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

But you can't take medicine on Survivor, right?

SPEAKER_04 30:49

I don't think so. They've kicked people off for like lying.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

I would need my Sertaline.

SPEAKER_04 30:55

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

My Zoloft.

unknown 30:57

Ah.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

I guess I'd be fine without my birth control.

SPEAKER_04 31:00

Maybe, maybe like a little island time would. Oh, not with not with what's going on up here. You think I would do that? Yeah, a little starvation.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

I think if anything I would what's the word? Decline mentally. Sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:14

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

You uh you could do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:16

I've thought about applying.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

I think you should.

SPEAKER_04 31:18

I think it'd be silly and fun. It would be silly. I would hate it immediately if I got it. But I clearly win contests.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

I think you should do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

2026. Catch me Survivor 51.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

I think you should do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:32

Because they're doing Survivor 50 now.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

What's that?

SPEAKER_04 31:35

Oh my god, it's the 50th season of Survivor.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

So wait, what are they doing for the 50th?

SPEAKER_04 31:38

Um, they're bringing back returning players, and apparently, like celebrities. Like Billie Eilish is on there. Really? She's not like a contestant, but like Mr. Beast and Jimmy Fallon are like doing things with Jeff Probes. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

I can't he must be so rich.

SPEAKER_04 31:55

Jeff Probed?

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:56

I mean, what a life. You could what a damn life.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

You and Drew could come on together and we could do Survivor once I started to watch more of it. Because I am, I think of the seasons that I was watching, you sent me that one. It was when I think Boston Rob had to eat like some hot fish. Yeah. And that I think is when I stopped watching.

SPEAKER_04 32:13

Uh they used to like make them eat like grubs. Yeah. And like b bollocks. It's like a it's an egg that has like a bird that's like formed. And like the feathers are like starting to like it's like a delicacy places. So don't act too gross. Uh oh. Yeah, it they Survivor's gotten soft.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Okay. Which is why I think you could have too much. Which maybe I could, yeah. Maybe in a year's like a soft trilling. Well, I'm not gonna I so I would love to do an obstacle course because I do have a lot of fun doing those things. Puzzles, not so good at.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

Do you keep your shoes on at the beach?

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Yes. Okay, yeah, you're right. So maybe I couldn't go at Survivor. I would have to admit, can you bring shoes with you? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 32:55

They changed that. They used to not let you. Seriously. People used to be barefoot. Now people are in like sketchers.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

I would 100% bring ske I would bring shoes. Yeah. Um, no, I wear my shoes not only at the beach, in the water.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Yeah. Has anybody died on Survivor before?

SPEAKER_04 33:10

No, but one guy fell into a fire. Oh my god, this is like early, early, early Survivor. Um, I want to say his name was Rick.

unknown 33:20

What?

SPEAKER_04 33:21

He like got lightheaded, fell into the fire. He's alive. Nobody's died, but like got burned.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

How bad?

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Had to be evacuated.

unknown 33:31

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Yeah. Do you want to see Katie Perry do next, other than go to space?

SPEAKER_04 33:40

I want a new album. I want her to kind of go back to her roots. I want like a little bit of like that more pop rock kind of energy. Okay. I also would love like if she did some kitschy little movie. Like, you know how Beyonce did um Austin Powers?

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

Like like I would love like a stupid movie.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Super campy. I that honestly bring that stupid Anaconda. I can't wait to do that. It looks so dumb.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

It looks like I would like love her in like a movie like that.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

I want her to host and perform on SNL.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 34:11

Like this is my vision board for Katy Perry.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

What do I want her to do next?

SPEAKER_04 34:15

I want her to do a lot.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I love that. Anything else to add about Katy Perry?

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Uh, just love her. I'll stay a fan. I'll ride through. You know how like Kelly Rippa's like strong for Madonna?

SPEAKER_02 34:26

No.

SPEAKER_04 34:27

Oh, she is. Okay. I use I use like Kelly Ripa's like die hard for for Madonna, almost as like a beacon of like, yeah, stand with like the girl you believe in.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

Yeah, don't say it again, but ten toes down.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

Ten toes down. Nine toes down and one hoof.

unknown 34:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Thanks for listening to my whole personality. This podcast is edited and produced by me, Joanna Clark. Theme music by Rebecca Jaffe. If you like this podcast, please like, subscribe, rate it, review it, wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks for listening. Bye bye.