Eating Bugles in a Basement (Goosebumps Recap)

Joanna discusses a few things she's made her personality this week (Long Island Medium, the Summer House scandal, a hypnotist telling her she can cure her fear of farting) and recaps an episode of Goosebumps. 

Follow the show on Instagram @mywholepersonalitypod
Produced and edited by Joanna Clark
Theme music by Rebecca Jaffe
Podcast art by Michelle Hong (michelleyhong.com)

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Get your head out of your balls! I like this one thing, so I made it my whole thing. Now no one wants to talk to me at parties. Please listen to my spiel, cause I made it my whole deal. I made it my whole personality. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Welcome back to another episode of My Whole Personality. This episode is just gonna be me again this week. I um I'm just gonna talk about some things that I've made my whole personality recently, and then I'm gonna recap an episode of Goosebumps, the TV show, because it came up when I was talking with someone recently, and I thought I'd like to go back and take a look at that. So yeah, I've actually got some good interviews coming up. Um that's why I'm just doing a solo episode right now. I interviewed my friends uh Clay and Evan. We talked about Animorphs and Austin Powers, and then I interviewed my friend Caitlin, and we talked about rats and mustard, and I'm editing those. And I was planning to release one of them um next week because I want to just like edit it up front and get it all ready to go because I'm actually going, I'm going to the Netherlands next week. People keep asking me about the trip, and I have no information from them. Like, I actually don't even know where I'm going, where I'm staying, what I'm doing, where I'm flying into. Um, I'm going, it's my sister and I are going with my mom for her 75th birthday. We um we wanted to do a girls' trip together, and we asked her, you know, maybe think about where you want to go for your 75th birthday. And at first she said Jamaica. And then we were like, okay, just real quick, you hate being hot and you don't like the beach. So do you maybe want to think on it for a little bit longer and then come back to us with another idea? And she picked uh she picked the Netherlands, and what's nice is it's all kind of planned for us. We're doing one of these Smithsonian tours uh where we all wear lanyards and get on a bus and get off a bus and go places. So that's why I don't really know what we're doing. There is an itinerary, but I have not really read it. I I don't know what it is. Uh it's like my specific set of anxieties and mental illness. I get really overwhelmed. I get really overwhelmed with details, even really important details. Like I don't read instructions, I I just I can't do it. And so I don't really know anything about the trip. And this happens to me a lot. Like whenever I have a big trip coming up or something, something, I don't know, anything coming up. I'm like, I can't think about it until it's here. And it's not great. Like I went to Ireland a couple years ago, and I uh didn't check the weather before I went. I just I packed clothes and I showed up. And I I I will look at the weather for Holland or for the Netherlands. Again, I don't know what the difference is between Holland and the Netherlands. I'll check the weather because it did kind of burn me in Ireland, but I'm also like, why should I check the weather? You know what I mean? Like, the weather's gonna be what it is, and I only have the clothes that I have. So I'm just gonna bring what I have and hope that it works there. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard for me to like whenever there's a big plan or even a small plan, like something coming up in the future. Part of me just thinks, well, it's never gonna happen. Like, I'll like whenever I like I went to the dermatologist this morning and they were like, okay, let's schedule your do you want to do 12 months from now? And I was like, Great. And they're like, how does April 12th sound 2027? And I was like, Great, who knows if I'll even be alive, you know, I'll just put it on my calendar and we'll deal with it when we deal with it. And that's kind of how I feel about trips, which is weird because I am such an OCD um anxious person. You would think that I would spend so much time researching, prepping, planning. But I think what I've learned is that most of my travel anxiety comes in the times leading up to the trip. Like I'm always worried that I'm gonna get sick and miss it. Um packing is really hard for me again, because I probably because I don't track the weather, but I think my way of alleviating that stress is just to not think about things until they're upon me, which as I'm saying it sounds like avoidance and maybe something I should talk about in therapy. But whatever, it works for me. So I'm just gonna talk about a couple things that I've made my personality this week because I've been journaling and thinking about some stuff, and the first thing I'm gonna talk about is Long Island Medium. The Long Island medium. This show has been out forever. I actually have no idea if it's currently running, but I recently discovered it, and you guys, I believe her. I don't I'm not gonna research, I'm not gonna look up to see if she's been debunked or um if there's been any big scandal with her, which I'm sure there has been, but I'm watching these episodes and I am in. Like I I can't even imagine a world in which they could stage this or make this stuff up. It's incredible. I I don't know, and I guess I do kind of maybe it's maybe that says something nice about me that I tend to believe people when they tell me things. I tend to I tend to believe the best of people. Um except for when I'm driving. But when I'm watching the Long Island medium, I'm like, this is fact. This is real. And it kind of makes me it kind of makes me want to um contact a medium. I know her wait list. I mean, at the time of filming season one of her series, I think her wait list was like over a year long, so I can't imagine. It's probably way, way longer now. But when James died, I was I was kind of thinking about should I get a should I get a medium? And um I I I don't know if I would want it to be her because one of the things I'm noticing about her, her bedside manner is terrible. In the first episode, she's sitting down with a girl and she's like, something's happening with my my head. I'm picking up something in my head. Your boyfriend, he was shot in the head. And then in another one, she just like picks up the phone and calls this woman and she goes, Is this Susan? And the woman goes, Yeah, and she goes, Did you lose your son? Did your son die? And I was like, My God. But so I've been I've been really into that and I've been enjoying that. The other thing that I've really gotten into recently, and I've had so many this week, I've really gotten into these little phony Negroni Italian sodas. And so my friend Caitlin, who I talked about mustard and rats with, and she was part of the Star Trek group that I talked to that I met with about Star Trek on a previous episode. When I came over, she made me um a non-alcoholic Aperol spritz with just like soda water and some bitter red Italian soda, and it was so good. I don't know, I've been craving, I've been craving like a nice cocktail lately, but I really I'm not a big I'm not a big drinker anymore. And it's not like how Gen Z doesn't drink. I actually don't know why they don't drink. Mine is like I'm just like tired of projectile vomiting in public the next day. Cause like honestly, no matter how much I drink, I'm so sick the next day. And it's a problem. And I kind of stopped, I stopped drinking as much when I started getting really bad migraines. Um, I get a ton of migraines, and so it's like I really look forward to having a good day, like a day where I don't have a headache, I don't feel nauseous, and so it's hard for me to, I don't know, to want to drink because I'm like, well, I I know if I drink I'm gonna have a hangover and I'm gonna throw up on someone's leg. Um how many of you guys have thrown up on someone's leg? No, it was my own leg. Um I've thrown up a lot of places, it's it's a problem. So I've been making a lot of those every night. Um, but the brand is Saint Uh-oh. Agrestis? Gosh, that can't be how you say it. Another thing that I've kind of made my whole personality recently um is having high cholesterol. I had my blood work done a couple weeks ago, and um I went in and I was talking to the doctor, and I was like, Yeah, I'm a little nervous to get this done. Um, you know, my blood work, uh not to brag, my cholesterol has always been perfect. And I was like, ooh, I am kind of nervous. Uh, first of all, because I am really bad with blood work. Like I every time I do it, I have to lay down and take my top off and have an ice pack and water and juice brought to me because I uh overheat and then I faint. They said there was some scientific name for it. Like when she came in, she was like, Oh, you're having the such and such response. And I was like, I don't know, I just that's why I took my top off. I need you to know that it's for a good reason. So I was telling her that I was nervous about my cholesterol because I was like, I've had a lot of pastries lately. Like I've been eating a lot of pastries this year, really, really upped my pastry numbers. And she was like, Well, typically at your age, we don't really see a dramatic change in cholesterol. Everything else looks the same for you, so I can't imagine it's gonna be a huge spike. Like you would, it would have to be like you'd have to have been eating like a ton of pastries. And I was like, that makes me feel great. Good. And then I started getting these notifications in my chart as my results are coming in, and you know how the they'll like put in the specific whatever lab work, and then your doctor will add a note on it, just kind of explaining things. And turns out my cholesterol did jump quite a bit, and the doctor had to be like, Hey, sorry I didn't believe you. Like, damn girl, you are eating a lot of pastries. Maybe we should consider cutting back on those. Um, I have a I'm actually this what you're gonna hear right now is me eating a bite of a scone. People love this kind of stuff on podcasts. Just talking about cholesterol makes me crave cholesterol. So now whenever I go to a coffee shop to do to get some work, I hate this about myself. I like whenever I'm interacting with someone in the back of my head, I'm like, don't say this, don't say this, don't say this. As soon as I get to the counter, he's like, you know, I order my Americano and he says, Is that it? And I was like, Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. And then I go, Well, I would get a pastry, but you don't my cholesterol's been pretty high, so uh gotta cut back on the pastries. I'm telling everyone. Listening back to a lot of my episodes, I've noticed that I do kind of I do air a lot of people's medical um diagnoses, and so it makes sense that I'm just like going around telling random baristas that I have high cholesterol. But at that point, I did realize okay, this is becoming part of my personality. I need to maybe like take a step back and um not do this so much. So having high cholesterol, it's part of my whole personality now. Also, the other thing I'll talk about before we get into goosebumps is no surprise, the biggest thing that I've turned into my whole personality these last couple days is um the summer house scandal. It's all I can think about. It's all I can do. It's all over my social media feeds. It's like the only media I'm consuming. I didn't know we went to the moon last week, or like I don't even know when it was. Because all I see is stuff about Amanda and West and Sierra and Kyle. I can't stop reading about it. I have to stop. I'm not even gonna like talk about it on this podcast because I know that so many other podcasts are, but um, I'm ready for them to film the reunion. I doubt we're gonna get any hard, clear answers or timelines out of either of them. I'm just so disappointed. I'm so disappointed. It's just West is my type, and it's a reminder for me that I have a bad type. So, um, yes. Oh, and I wrote this down. I don't know, I try to spend less time on social media. I got one of those brick things that I've talked about where I limit my activity, but I will I do like to go through and like read the comments like a psychopath. Um, sometimes people will leave me really weird comments on my videos, and sometimes they're really nice, and I'll try and save them for a rainy day when I'm feeling bad about myself. But I got this one, this is gonna be like the craziest sentence I've ever said. Um a hypnotist commented on one of my recent videos and said, I can't cure your farts, but I can cure your fear of farting. I love that that happened. I'll never get back to her because I am very scared of hypnotists. Um, I think I'm a very vulnerable person. Very, I think, an easy target, an easy mark for cults, scams, what have you. So I'll never get back to her, but I just love that a hypnotist commented on one of my videos and told me that she can't cure my farts, but she can cure my fear of farting. So that was kind of beautiful. So let's I'll take a quick break. Um, gonna put some more of this scone in my mouth and I'll edit it out this time. And then we're gonna recap uh we're gonna recap goosebumps. Okay, hold on. Okay, so for the goosebumps, episode recap. But uh-oh, Joan. Come on. Okay, she's just gonna do this. We call it baby Jessica, where she pretends like she fell down a well and she just yells from another room until one of us comes in there and sees where she is. She used to do it, she used to like climb on top of the refrigerator and pretend like she was stuck. And I was kind of worried that she would one day really get stuck, so like I really tried to make sure that she knew how to get out when she was stuck, but then she gained a little weight, and she actually did she went into the refrigerator one time and she was actually unable to get out. So we kind of had to um had to wall that off. But so the episode that I'm gonna talk about from Goosebumps, I was scrolling through the season and I found one that's set at a summer camp. And I forget what the episode's called. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, but it's um I think it's like nightmare at summer camp or um I I died at summer camp, something, something like that. But it's a two-part episode, and I picked this one because I am I'm just like always fascinated by summer camp culture. I never went to a summer camp growing up, I was so jealous of all my friends who went to summer camp. Like a lot of my Jewish friends went to this Jewish summer camp called Camp Bieber, and I was so mad that I couldn't go because I felt like they would, I felt like they would come back uh different. They'd leave as girls and come back as women, at least in my opinion, because they would like go to camp and have crushes and have these whole lives that I didn't have. One of my friends, uh oh, here comes another HIPAA violation. I'll redact her name, but one of my friends went to camp and broke her pelvis. Okay. She had to sit on a donut, um, like one of those donut pillows for weeks afterwards. Um, so I never really had a camp experience. So I love watching shows about camp. Like I loved bug juice growing up. I did go to a couple Girl Scout camps, but those were just like like weekends, you know. I went to a couple field hockey camps as a kid. I played field hockey for years. And um, so I went to several different camps. That's where I saw my first heat stroke. Have you guys ever seen someone having an active heat stroke? Um, so no one none of my summer camp experiences were really all that good. But also, again, like I was I'm sure I say I wanted to go to summer camp, but I was also the kid that would like call my parents at a sleepover to be like, well, I don't think I want to be here anymore. Like, I'm looking around the basement and I don't see any carbon monoxide detectors. Okay, you wanna come pick me up? So they probably knew that sending me to summer camp would not work out. I'm supposed to be talking about goosebumps, okay. So, um it opens up kind of weird. There's like a bus driving in the middle of the woods, and all of a sudden they just pull over to the side of the road. The bus driver gets out, and he just starts throwing everybody's bags onto the side of the road. He's just like, get out, this is where I leave you. So all the kids, you know, are basically thrown off the bus. They they grab their bags, and then they're just kind of standing there stranded in the middle of the road, and we hear something growling in the bushes, and we see like a lurking figure in the bushes. It's very scary. And then before it can attack them, it explodes. It seemingly explodes into what looked like um an atomic bomb. And all the kids are like, Oh my gosh, what happened? Who did that? And then we see this guy standing there in a yellow polo shirt with a gun, and he says, You can call me Uncle Al. I run this place. So all the kids are like, Okay. So the boys and the girls separate. The boys walk past this cabin that is just covered in cobwebs, like more cobwebs than you could even imagine. It looks like it's covered in silly string. And Uncle Al is like, don't ever go there, don't even look at it. That's the forbidden cabin. It's off limits, no matter what. So we know at that point that like some shit's gonna go down in the forbidden cabin. All the kids get to their bunk, they're picking bunks, setting up shop. Bunk beds, I'll be honest, did not look sturdy. They did not look sturdy, they did look um pretty wobbly, and it reminded me of it reminded me of um my episode with Grace where we were talking about bunk beds and how she said that she likes a bottom bunk and I like a top bunk, and she likes she she said she could never do a top bunk because she'd be afraid she was gonna pee on someone beneath her. Sorry, Grace. Um so they're like picking their bat, their beds, and then this guy, this kid Mike, immediately gets bit by a snake. There's a snake in his bed and it bites him, and everybody's like, oh no, we gotta get you to the doctor, we gotta get you to the nurse. This guy walks in who's another counselor, and they're like, hey man, Mike just got bit by the snake, we gotta get him some medical attention. And the counselor's basically like, You pussy. He tells Mike to just wash it off and bandage it up, and he'll be fine. Mike's gonna die. We're never gonna see this kid again. So then Mike um just lets that snake bite ride. Have you guys ever been bit by a snake? I've I was I was I mean, I would know. I've never been bit by a snake, but I did step on a bee one time and it stung me, which is again why I never walk barefoot. But I've never been I mean I've been bit by a lot of dogs and cats because I used to be a dog walker and a pet sitter, and um none of them respected me. But I actually I got bit um one year pretty bad by a cat and I had to go to urgent care because uh it was a pretty deep punctured wound. It was like over Thanksgiving, and I was visiting this cat, and I walked in and I was like, I don't think this cat uh values my life in any way. It was doing that weird cat thing where it's like kind of hard to tell. They're like puffed up, but they're purring and they're kind of rubbing against you, but you can tell that they wish they had a gun. And I was like, I gotta get away from this cat. And um, it bit me on the back of the leg because I was running away from it. So I had to go to urgent care and um get a tetanus shot, get it cleaned up. But that was pretty scary. I mean, it bit me, it bit it bit me pretty bad on the back of the leg. Like it looked like a snake bite. Um, but anyway, so then we see them um later that night, all the all the camp kids are sitting around a sitting around a campfire pro playing guitars, telling stories, and Mike is just kind of leaning against a tree, and he goes, I can't feel the left side of my body. And again, the counselors are like, Don't be such a bitch. Um you'll be fine. Sleep it off. So then they all go to bed and they wake up and Mike's gone. His bunk is has been cleared out, his drawer is cleared out, all evidence of Mike has been scrubbed from the face of the earth. And the kids are like, hey, you know, they confront the counselors and they're like, Where's Mike? What happened to Mike? And they're like, We don't know Mike. Mike was never here. Kind of an early introduction into gaslighting. Um, so then they all go eat breakfast, and one of the counselors stands up and he says, Hey, get your head out of your balls and listen up. And I liked that line a lot. Get your head out of your balls. That's fun. Um, and he says, We're gonna go play baseball. So they go play baseball, and one of the kids, one of the campers is everybody's in like athletic gear, you know, um, like camp gear, and this one kid is dressed like um like Doug Funny's sister, Judy, I think was her name. He's in like straight black jeans, a black shirt. He's wearing sunglasses, he's got a bandana. He looks like he's getting ready to go to a coffee shop and read some poetry. But he's also very cool. He's very cool. And he's running the basis. And somebody, one of the counselors, throws a ball at the back of his head, and it um pretty much kills him. It leaves a huge hole in his helmet, knocks him clean out. His name's Colin. So they're all, you know, the campers run over, they're like, oh my god, Colin, is he okay? He's knocked out cold. The counselors are like, don't worry about it. It's literally not that big of a deal. Colin's gonna be fine. Um they kind of like pick him up like weekend at Bernie's, and he's kind of smack him around a little bit, and he is alive, but he is um not conscious, I guess. And again, this is a kid's show. Like, so far we've seen a kid die from a snake bite, get knocked out cold. So then that night they all decide to sleep in the woods, and this was fun for me because we got to see all their sleeping bags. Do you remember how important it was in middle school to have like a cool sleeping bag? I was I thought that that was gonna like solidify my status as a cool girl if I had a north face sleeping bag. I my friend my friend Allie had one, and I remember she had like a purple North Face sleeping bag, and I remember thinking, she's that's it. Allie's got it. Um I remember going to like Dick's sporting goods with my mom looking at all the sleeping bags and being like, well, I gotta have one. Like, look at you know, I gotta have one that's like sub-zero temperatures, like I could survive in an ice storm. And my mom's like, You're sleeping in a basement. You know, like it's we weren't climbing Mount Everest, we were just in a basement eating bugles all night. Like I didn't need this insane technology, but I felt like I did. I felt like I needed it. And so I never got I never got the I never got the sleeping bag that I wanted. And they say like as an adult, you're supposed to parent yourself. So I probably should go, I probably should go to a dick sporting goods and buy a buy a nice sleeping bag for myself. I've been thinking about starting to bring them to hotels. I know some people that bring sleeping bags to hotels to to like sleep in instead of the sheets, and I actually really like that move. Um because especially because so I didn't have I didn't do an episode last week because um some stuff came up and I was traveling with some friends to go to a funeral, actually, and uh we were all staying in this hotel, and the morning of the funeral I went down to get coffee and I was just kind of waiting to buy the elevators and then I see my friend come out with her suitcase and make a beeline to the front desk, and I just hear her say, I woke up with a rash. I'd like to report bed bugs. I blacked out. Turns out it was not bed bugs, it was actually a pre-existing hot tub rash. Disgusting. But I was thinking about that when I was watching this episode because I was like, this wouldn't have been an issue if I just brought a sleeping bag to the hotel and slept in that instead of sleeping in the bed bug sheets. But also I was fairly confident that I didn't have bed bugs because the first thing I okay, something about me, the first thing I do whenever I get to a hotel is I strip the mattress and I check for bed bugs. Okay. Um, I'm a very cool, easy breezy, spontaneous type of girl. So whatever, they're all sleeping in their tents, they're all in their um their sleeping bags. Colin, the kid who got hit in the back of the head with that baseball and knocked out cold, he is zipped up in a sleeping bag like um like it's a body bag, like it's wrapped all the way around his face. Which again was one of the cool sleeping bag trends of like the early 2000s when they started building built like building in those pillows at the top. So Colin's got money, is what I'm saying. Colin's got money. Um I'm looking at my notes and I wrote down on top of spaghetti, and it took me a minute to remember what that meant, and now I know. Um, I was I think when I was watching this, I was just like free handwriting slumber party memories, and I do specifically remember one time I was out of sleepover and I was in the basement, and we were like all getting ready to go to bed, and this actually ties in perfectly, perfectly with the episode that's gonna air next week because it was around the time that we were all obsessed with Austin Powers, and one of the girls um started singing On top of Spog! All covered in cheese. And I threw up. And I remember being really confused about why that made me throw up because I was like, Why am I so disgusted by this? Why am I so nauseous by this? I love I love this song. And then the next day I came down with the flu. So um it was kind of the canary in the coal mine. Okay, so while everybody is supposed to be sleeping in their tents with their sleeping bags with Colin zipped up, like he's already perished, a couple of the kids are like, hey, we're gonna go check out the Forbidden Cabin. Not a chance in hell would I have gone with those kids. I'm a role follower. I snuck out of the house, I mean like twice, but I s the big time I snuck out of the house was in high school. And again, I did not, I was not a good person in high school. I was hanging out with people who were doing dangerous stuff, and I was just trying to fit in, but the whole time I was like, we're all gonna die. I remember one time in high school, I was like staying at my friend's house, and we just went outside, and there was this guy, I have no idea who he was, but he popped his trunk and he had um orange juice and vodka in the back of his trunk, and he was like, Do you girls want to have a good time? And I said, Okay, and we drank screwdrivers on the side of the road out of a stranger's trunk. I'm not having kids. But so then all of a sudden, while those kids are checking out the Forbidden Cabin, Colin comes out of his coma and he's had a vision, and he just starts saying, Saber's coming, Saber's hungry. So then they carry him like a body bag, they'll run back to the cabin, lock the door, and it's a to be continued. And initially I was not going to watch the second episode because I was like, I actually don't really care if Colin dies. But I'm so glad I watched the second episode because it took a turn that I did not see coming. Okay, so then the next episode opens, they like make it through the night, the saber does not break into their cabin, and but they're down a they're down a camper. Uh one of the other kids comes running running back, and he was like, It got Roger, it got Roger, and I'm like, Who's Roger? And the counselor says, There's never been a Roger ever at this camp. Pretty scary stuff. Um, and they're like, Okay, stop bitching about Roger, who never existed. Let's go to the lake. So then all the boys go to the lake, and two of the boys are in a canoe out on the lake, and our main guy is just kind of standing on the dock getting ready to get in. And that's when one of the counselors goes, What are you doing? Oh my god, nobody has a life vest on. You guys need to wear your life vests. And I was like, Why does he care so much that they're wearing life vests? He literally let Mike die of a snake bite. Just seemed kind of weird. But the kids in the canoe, um, the canoe does tip over and they drown in front of Billy. Billy tries to save them, they're gone, they disappear beneath the water, and we never see them again. This is the children's show. At this point, Billy's like, uh oh, I don't think I want to be here anymore. So he runs away. He runs to the Forbidden Cabin. And when he's in the Forbidden Cabin, he runs into one of the girls that he was kind of hitting it off earlier with on the bus. And uh her face is covered in dirt, so we know that something's up. And she says, I wrote this down, because it was so crazy. She says that she um he's like, What are you doing in here? And she was like, I I ran away, I was scared. And he was like, Me too. What you know, and he tells them, like, listen, this guy died of a snake bite, my friends drowned, somebody got a hole in his head from a baseball. Um, what Roger got eaten? What's going on with you? And she said, Um, I went for a hike with this girl Dory, and she got mauled by a bear. And when we told the counselor what had happened, the counselor said, Well, tell Dory to walk it off. I can't imagine walking off a mauling.

unknown 30:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

I could barely walk off, getting bit in the back of the leg from that cat. So I'm not walking off a mauling. So at that point, Billy's like, oh my god, something has to be up. He looks out the window, he sees the rest of the surviving campers, the few surviving campers, and the counselors. And the counselors are all of a sudden in military fatigues. And he's like, I'm gonna go see what's happening. At this point, I was a little worried. I was like, is this girl gonna turn into a werewolf? Like, is she the monster? And is she gonna eat him? And that's where I thought this was going. I thought that she was kind of like, we were led to believe she was like this innocent, cool crush that he had. Because again, the only thing I know about camp is everybody falls in love there. I was gonna apply to go on the traitors, and I was thinking, like, why do I want to be on the traitors? And it's because I wanna. This is the way my brain works, and this is gonna make no linear sense for anybody else. But um I want to go on the traders because um I like the challenges. I know a lot of people don't like the challenges, but I love them because I want to go on wipe out, but I'm afraid I'm gonna break my neck. So traitors feels like a nice compromise. And I will, I think I I want to find love. I would have said that in my edition tape. I would have gone on the traitors to find love. But this girl does not turn into a werewolf. Billy leaves the cabin, he goes and he he goes to the rest of the, you know, where the counselors are pretty much like running the camp through military drills. And he sees like all the counselors have all these tranquilizer guns. This is a Nickelodeon show. They all have tranquilizer guns and they say, Listen up, get your head out of your balls. They say, Listen up, we're giving all of you two tranquilizer guns, which seemed like at least one too many. I think you don't give anybody a tranquilizer gun at um at a kid's summer camp, but two seems excessive. He says, We're giving everybody two guns. And Billy says, Why? And he says, There's a girl who escaped from the girls' camp, and we need to find her. So we're gonna have everybody go through the woods, and if you see her, you shoot her. Billy says, I'm not gonna do that. So he takes a gun and he shoots the counselor, he shoots Uncle Al in the chest, and then all of a sudden everybody starts clapping, and they're like, Congratulations, you did it. And then all of a sudden, Billy's parents come out of the woods and they're clapping. And Billy's like, Mom, dad, what are you doing here? And um, they're scientists, of course, because I feel like growing up in every like childhood Disney movie, I know this is not Disney, but it was like everybody's quirky parents were scientists. Um, but they come out of the woods and they're like, This isn't a summer camp. This is a government testing lab. We are going on a mission, like a really dangerous mission coming up, and we needed to make sure that you could come with us and that you'd be able to like survive, like defend yourself. And Billy's like, Okay, what about all those kids that died? And they're like, they're all actors, nobody died, and then all the kids that have died start coming, you know, quote unquote died, start coming out of the woods. And it's like that scene in Harry Potter at the end of um the last Harry Potter movie where all of the people that he loved who had died are like coming for, and he like sees Sirius and he sees his mom, he sees his dad, and it's that exact same scene. But it's like Mike with the snake bite, those two kids that drowned. Um, Colin actually did survive, uh, but I guess Roger, who was eaten, they all come out of the woods and they're like, We didn't actually die, we're uh we're actors. And then he's like, Well, wait, where are we going, mom and dad? Like, where's this mission? And this is like at first, I was like, okay, the plot twist is this is like it's Truman show, whatever. But then his parents go, No, we're going to the most dangerous place. We're doing this experiment where we're gonna be interacting with aliens that we've never encountered before. We're going to Earth. So this whole time, they're aliens. Anyways, I'm losing my voice, so I'm gonna I'm gonna go bye-bye. But thank you all for listening. I hope you enjoyed this recap. Um, check out Goosebumps. I'm actually gonna start watching more of them to see if they're all this insane and dark. Because I remember being scared of them. But this is quite dark. Yeah, I um next week you'll be hearing about Anamorphs and Austin Powers, and I'll be wherever the hell I am in the Netherlands, and um, and then I'll be back the week after that. So thank you all so much for listening, and I'll talk to you next week. Thanks for listening to my whole personality. This podcast is edited and produced by me, Joanna Clark. Theme music by Rebecca Jaffe. If you like this podcast, please like, subscribe, rate it, review it, wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks for listening. Bye bye.